To The One I Love
by usuilove21
Summary: *COMPLETE* To the one I love, I'm sorry, but I have to kill you. Yullen. ONESHOT


**Title: To The One I love.  
****Author:** Usuilove21  
**Fandom:** D . Gray-man  
**Parings: **Yullen.

**Rating: **T  
**Genre: **Angst, Tragedy, Romance.  
**Summary: **To the one I love. I'm so sorry. But I have to kill you.**  
Type:** One-shot.  
**Universe:** Slightly AU, but what fanfictions aren't? Before or after "Kanda Ark."? The answer is no. I am pretending that it doesn't exist. So no Spoilers for the recent chapter...

**Beta: **Myself.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own DGM or the song, I do own the plot though.  
**Listening to: **When It Rains By Paramore.

**Warnings:** (Major) Character Death. Noah!Allen. Angst.

**READ NOTE AT THE BOTTOM! **

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**-+-+-+To The One I love-+-+-+**

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He was breaking.

The pain that he felt was unbearable. It felt like his head was exploding from the inside out.

Allen Walker was changing into a Noah. One of the Black Orders most powerful exorcists. The so-called "Destroyer of Time", the one that was defeat the Earl and Noah and get this 1000 year war over and done with, was dying.

Ungloved hands; a pale right hand and a red left one, reached out to pull his hair in his hands, his fingers tugging at the roots, showing a blood-stained bandage on his head. He wasn't wearing a shirt but he was wearing gray, baggy sweat pants. His chest showing, a large, pinking scar on his chest, going all the way to the back of his shoulder to the start of his stomach that was made by his own innocence.

He could remember the pain of the "Sword of Exorcism" going though his body and the pains that racked through it as it was impaled though the level 4 and himself. It was excruciating and horrible, but the pain in his head was even worse if that was possible.

He moved from his spot on the floor to the window that was in his room, taking his hands out from his hair. It reflected his image, but it also showed a dark shadow that was wearing a white cloak that was similar to the "Crown Clown" but different in the same sense. It had wings. It had a huge, pure white eerie smile on its blank face as it was looming over Allen, obviously bigger than the 16 year old. Allen knew exactly what this spine-chilling presence was.

It was the 14th Noah. The presence that was making him distance from his friends.

He knew that he wasn't going to be able to fight this one off completely. But he was trying. His felt the 14th's ominous presence taking control of him from the inside. It was a fight. A fight for the control of Allen Walker. An internal fight that was to the death in both way. Either Allen would win or the 14th would. One would win and one would lose. One would have the advantage, while the other had the disadvantage.

Allen had the disadvantage.

He couldn't fight it anymore. He body was deteriorating wether he liked it or not. But he couldn't lose. He had people he cared for, people that were counting on him. Even if they didn't realize what pain he was going though mentally and physically. If he lost the battle he wouldn't be the only one who lost their lives. It would also be the one he loved.

The words that Cross said to him that fateful day still hung in his min. _'What if I told you...That when you become the 14th you will have to... Kill... Someone you love.'_ (**A/N**: VIZ's translation.)

Allen walked away from the window and went to his bed to sit on it. Whenever he though of the person that he loved who he would end up killing, a couple of people came to mind.

Lenalee. But he only loved her like an older sister, like she was part of his non-existant family.

Lavi. But as the same as Lenalee, he only saw him as an older sibling.

Komui. He was a great person to Allen, even if he threatened him for being with his sister all the time. He was a close friend who cared about his well-being.

And other people from the Order that still managed to believe in him.

But the one person that would always stay in his mind was Kanda Yuu.

The most anti-social person in the whole Black Order with a stick in his ass. He was rude and uncaring, and he didn't let anyone close to him. But he had a certain charm to him, and he would save Allen whenever he needed it. He would call him weak and he would have consent fights with him. Even if he acted like he hated him, he couldn't help but feel something else for the long-haired, dark eyed, Samurai. He knew that Kanda probably felt nothing but hate and disgust for the 16 year old. But Allen felt something different from what he felt from Lenalee or anyone else. An aching in his chest that he wanted to get rid of but he couldn't get rid of.

He didn't want all of this to happen. But it did and he couldn't change it.

Allen moved his hands to the blood soaked bandage that was covering his head, an he ripped it off. Showing what he was hiding.

Six Stigmata donned across his forehead, three on each side, a single space in the middle. One of them dripping fresh blood. He moved his hand up to the stigmata and touched the new one that had just formed and he moved back to the mirror. All of the stigmata were black as all of the other Noah's were, pitch black. He watched as the sixth stigmata's blood dripped down to his face and stopped bleeding all together, as the middle of Allen's forehead got a small mark on it as it started bleeding very slightly.

Allen sighed and grabbed a new set of bandages that he stocked under his pillow. He couldn't let them find out that he was losing and that the stigmata were starting to form very fast. That's why he was grateful that link wasn't with him currently and he was at central to give in his monthly report on Allen, not even realizing that only an after hour he left three days ago that his transformation into a Noah had begun.

Maybe, just maybe, the 14th wouldn't kill anyone. He would hope that, but he knew that the 14th wouldn't respond to his requests.

Allen moved back to his bed and laid down. Not moving as piano melodies started to play in his head.

Before he knew it a giant pain racked his body, worse than any of the others that had come before. His body started to shake and he started to sweat. He bit his lip so hard that it started to bleed. The piano melodies got even louder in his mind and the pain was starting to calm down, but it was still there as Allen's body started to numb and his eyes started to droop as the pain got worse and all Allen could focus on was the melodies. Finally his eyes closed all together.

Allen's body stopped moving all together and he stopped breathing. A ashen gray color started to sprout from Allen's stomach, covering his whole body in less than a minute, his stark straight, white hair turning curly and a slightly darker shade of white.

Now ashen gray eyelids opened up to show golden eyes that were in place of sliver-blue ones.

"So..." A slightly different voice said, sounding raspy from not using it in 3 days. "It looks like I won." A smirk going onto his face as he licked his now bloody lips.

The 14th Noah.

The golden-eyed man rolled off of Allen's bed, his smirk disappearing into a serious expression as he walked to the center of the room.

"Looks like Allen didn't think of this..." He said, humming the familiar melody.

Right away a door to the ark appeared and he walked into it, but not before grabbing a shirt.

The man was now in the white room of the ark. He walked to the piano stool and sat down, just before he pressed three keys one after another, making the big mirror in the room turn into a screen. It showed all the rooms and passage ways in the Mediterranean-like city. No one was in the whole ark besides the 14th.

"Good." He said, moving over to mirror and touching it slightly with the red; almost black, fingers that were infected with innocence. He moved his right arm that was the same ashen gray as the rest of his body, to his heart, chanting words that were in another language that sounded like German. (**A/N:** I am not too sure I this is right or not, I am German, but I don't know the Language much...)**_"Gods Umarmung, umhüllt jedes seiner Kinder. Die beiden Gruppen von Kindern schuf er mit seinen eigenen Händen, die Noah und der Exorzisten. Zwei verschiedene Gruppen, die unterschiedliche Befugnisse haben. Wie nennen sie "Dark Matter" und "Innocence". Diese beiden Welten werden weiter kämpfen Götter aproval bis man fällt und man bleibt stehen, siegreich. Das einzige, das wirklich werden kann siegreichen ist derjenige, der das Crossover der beiden Welten ist. Von den Noah und Exorzist. Die einzigen Kind Gottes, die durch das Unglück und Hungersnot wurde, der einen "Schafe", dass dieser Krieg für die bessere enden wird. Der Crossover zwischen dem Schwarzen und Weißen. Die grau._"**

He said this with his golden eyes closed shut and a serious look on his face. He opened his eyes as he said the same sentence in English. **_"Gods embrace that envelops each one of his children. The two groups of children he created with his own hands, the Noah and the Exorcists. Two different groups that have different powers. What they call 'Dark Matter' and 'Innocence.' These two worlds will continuing fighting for gods aproval until one drops and one stays standing, victorious. The only one that can truly become victorious is the one who is the crossover of the two worlds. Of the Noah and Exorcist. The single child of god that has been through misfortune and famine, the one 'sheep' that will end this war for the better. The crossover between the Black and White. The gray."_**

He moved his red left hand from the mirror and moved it onto his chest, moving the ashen gray one to the mirror, he slowly started saying a sentence in what sounded like the language that he just used. _"Dieser Junge, der einen geliebten, dass die meisten von Gott, hat seine eigene Geliebte. Nun Spiegel, zeig mir die Liebe dieser einen von Gott auserwählt."__ His eyes closing once again as he translated the German worlds in English.__"This boy, the one that is most beloved by God, has his own beloved. Now mirror, show me the love of this one chosen by god."_ The mirror started to change as he finished the chant.

The mirror changed, with blurs of black and white, showing that it was changing to a new scene.

It showed a dark room that had nothing but a lotus and a bed. The only window in the room was broken and looked like it would fall apart any second. Long, black hair was seen falling down to the floor of the room, but most of it was on the bed that had a single pillow and blanket on it. The person had sharp features that were rid of any childness on his face that made him look his age.

This person was non other that the Kanda Yuu.

He was wearing a black cardigan that was opened up, showing his bandaged chest.

"So, the Samurai-wannabe is the one he loves. Strange, I thought that it would be the crystal girl." The 14th said, moving the gray hand from the mirror and too his chin, while the red-almost black- hand hung at his side, as if it was lifeless.

He moved back to the piano and pressed one of the keys, opening a new doorway for him.

Kanda's eyes widened as a door to the ark apeared in his room.

"Moyashi?" He said a minute after no one came out.

A chuckle was heard after he said this and Kanda stood up, taking his gaurd, grabbing and unsheathing his sword; that was also his innocence, Mugen.

Before he could do anything, he heard a voice, humming a song, before a ashen gray arm came out and grabbed him by his arm.

Kanda stumbled into the white room where the 14th was. He looked around the room, since he has only been in this room once. The ashen gray hand was now sliding off of Kanda's arm smoothly.

"Nice to meet you Kanda Yuu. I'm sure you know who I am." The 14th said, smirking at Kanda, stepping a couple 3 steps away from the Samurai.

Kanda's eyes widened and he thought,_ 'Did the Baka Moyashi really lose the battle with the Noah inside him?'_

"I bet your confused of why your here." Kanda opened his mouth to speak, but the 14th made a swift movement with his fingers that made him stop in his tracks.

_'What did that f***ing Noah do to me?_' Kanda thought, trying to break whatever spell was put on him.

"Oh, you won't be able to move, but don't worry, you won't be able to feel anything at all soon." The 14th said, a wicked smile coming onto his face.

Kanda's eyes widened, as if he knew exactly what the Noah in front of him.

"I guess you could consider myself and '_Allen'_ the same person, after all, it's my body now. So I'll say this as if I was Allen Walker himself." The 14th said, closing the 3 step gap he made up, invading Kanda's personal space.

He made another movement with his fingers, making Kanda get his freedom of speech and letting him feel again, back. "DON'T TOUCH ME NOAH!" He yelled, trying to back up but failing in the end.

"Naughty. Naughty, naughty boy." The 14th said, wiggling a finger in front of Kanda's face, making Kanda even more infuriated than before. "I'll just say it while I'm at it."

The 14th got closer to Kanda, mouth next to his ear, his red left hand entertaining itself into Kanda's long ebony hair. "He loved you."

Kanda's eyes got wide as the Noah said this, not believing the words he said.

"But now, I'm him, so I guess I loved you." The 14th said, making a fist in Kanda's hair, pulling it by the seems. "So..." He trailed off.

"To the one I love, I'm sorry, but I have to kill you now." The 14th said, piercing Kanda with his right arm, blood coating it easily.

He started humming a song as Kanda's shocked eyes started to glaze over.

"I know about you healing ability, but I doubt it will work anymore..." The 14th said, a plain look on his face. "That shouldn't matter."

The 14th brought his arm out of Kanda's stomach, Kanda instantly falling to the floor, he said, "Goodbye."

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**A/N:** This is the most Angst-tastic thing I've written so far :D. I really like this...I wanted this to come out before chapter 198 came out, but I failed at that... I worked on it for like forever, I have no clue why it took me forever to write...

Well, If you guys liked this and you want to read more of my stuff, please, add me to your author alert list, your favorites list, heck! Even follow me on twitter! But If it sounds like I am asking to much, I am REALLY sorry! (Yes, I am like Miranda...) Please forgive me!

Ahem, if you liked this, please review and tell me how it was, please?

Love you all!

**XOXO Usuilove21**


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